Summary of my 20 years in Australia

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment, and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. – Gilda Radner

It feels like it was yesterday, 4th of July 2001. Dressed in blue jeans, white T-Shirt, and a white shirt. My seat was in the middle isle of the Singapore Airlines flight. A swarm of mixed emotions, part happiness, part nerves and sheer fear. I was on my way to Australia to study my MBA at Monash University. I had never been on an international flight before that in my life. Given my nervousness about travelling overseas, our travel agent came out to the airport to help me. He helped me check in and explained the process of obtaining another boarding pass in Singapore for Melbourne. He also reminded me that Singapore has a death penalty if you are caught with drugs and told me to look after my hand luggage in case someone slipped drugs into my bag. As if I was not nervous enough already! The flight was quite uneventful. I remember clutching on to my bag with dear life at the Singapore airport! On the second leg of my flight, I happened to be seated next to a gentleman who was part of the Hare Rama Hare Krishna mission in Melbourne, and he kindly helped me navigate the customs line and collect my baggage upon our arrival.

In the second half of 1998, I commenced my studies to become a Chartered Accountant (CA). My dad is a CA, his friends were accountants, and their kids were mostly studying to become accountants. That was my world, so I decided to become an accountant. Little did I know at the time that I had no interest in numbers, accountancy, or finance. After two years of disinterest and failed exams, I happened upon a chance conversation with of one of my mate’s cousins in Mumbai. He had just come home to visit after finishing his MBA from UTS in Sydney. I remember speaking to him from a public phone with a plethora of 1-rupee coins in pocket. By the end of the call, I had made up my mind to go to Australia. I knew I had to get out of the rut I was in, I knew I had to do something. Looking back now I realise that most of the big decisions in my life have been taken in a similar manner, i.e., “just do it without over analysing and worry about the consequences later”. In most cases this approach has worked out well for me.

I touched down in Melbourne on the 5th of July. The customs officer at the airport looked at my declaration and asked me “no spices?” I responded with a no, and she looked visibly surprised. I learned later that most Indian students came to Australia with half a suitcase full of spices given the unique nature of the Indian cuisine. Monash University had organised my transport from the airport to my accommodation in Carnegie. In my first term I was in a share house with 7 other roommates. I learned a lot about myself during the first term.

Coming to Australia felt like a last roll of the dice as far as my career and life was concerned at the time. In my heart of hearts, I knew that I had to make it work and I am glad that it has worked out for me. I have had some amazing experiences over the last 20 years in this amazing country I now call home.

Family

I met her during orientation week at a breakfast for new international students. She had arrived in Australia 4 days after me i.e., 9th of July 2001. There was a glass of orange juice on a small plate that she was holding in her left hand. After our introduction, my offer to hold the juice for her in case someone knocks it over was declined. Five minutes later someone bumped into her elbow, and I caught the glass whilst the juice spilled all over the floor and my brand-new Reebok shoes. I gave her the ‘I told you so’ look. In our first term, Miriam and I were studying 3 subjects together. As a result, we ended up spending a lot of time together. Our first date was on September 11. I remember coming home late that night and one of my housemates was watching the news of planes crashing into the world trade centre. As I spent more time with Miriam, I was amazed to learn about our different upbringings and cultures. Miriam is a very calm, kind, and caring person. I am impulsive and quick with my decision making, she is a careful planner. I am an extrovert, and she is an introvert. Given the cultural and religious differences, I had a tough time convincing my parents. As such we had to get married thrice, first time at the registry on Spring Street, second time at a Catholic church in Colombo, Sri Lanka and third time in India which was a traditional Indian ceremony. Twenty years later we are still together and have two beautiful children (boy 13, girl 10). It is without doubt that I would not have achieved anything in life without the unconditional love, support, and friendship of my amazing wife.

Cricket

Even though I decided to move to Australia without ever leaving my nest, Australia was always familiar. I used to wake up at 5.30 in the morning to watch cricket being played at the MCG. My father believed that playing sport was a monumental waste of time and life should be dedicated to excelling in academics. I had to play cricket without my parents finding out. My mates used to bring cricket whites for me and while my parents thought I was at university; I was playing cricket on the maidans of Mumbai. When I am wicketkeeping, I feel this joy and freedom that I am unable to explain in words. Once I finished my MBA in 2003, I decided to join the Monash Cricket Club. I remember going to Sportsmart in Moorabbin and buying cricket gear for the first time in my life. I organised my gear while still at the register, picked it up and hugged it. “Dad, this is for you”, I said loudly with my eyes closed (I was free to play as much cricket as I wanted to). The cashier as well as the people behind me in the queue looked at me like I was a weirdo. After playing for Monash for a few seasons, I ended up at Burnley Cricket Club. At Burnley, I found myself playing in the first XI (A Grade) and was extremely fortunate to be part of an amazing team. All up we played in 4 consecutive grand finals for 3 premierships. Whilst my daughter dislikes cricket wholeheartedly, my son has inherited my love for the game. Last season I helped coach his u-14 cricket team and we played senior cricket together in the 5th XI at Nunawading Cricket Club. With an ageing body, I am no longer the player I was however, I continue to be involved with the game and hope to play a few more seasons with my son.

Career

My plan initially was to finish my MBA and work in one of the Asian countries i.e., Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia etc. Thereafter, keep travelling and working in different destinations around the world. Naturally plans changed after I met my wife. Although, my first job in Australia involved me working as a waiter at an Indian restaurant. It was 20 hours a week and helped pay some of my living expenses whilst I was studying. I also worked as a store greeter at a car dealership and as a sandwich chef. After completing my MBA, I had to struggle for seven months to secure my first job. I was a graduate accountant. To kick start my career and pay the bills, I accepted the role. We also bought our first home during this time. I worked in finance for 7 years and never enjoyed my work not even for one single day. I did learn that I am not bad with numbers after all. Through some luck and hard work, I found myself reporting to a Managing Director in one of Ansell’s global business units. Working with him was an amazing experience and he taught me many things that I continue to apply today in my life. However, 10 months into that role, I started experiencing doubts towards my career ambitions and plans. In 2012, I transitioned into a sales career. I remember feeling this massive relief that after years of trying, I was finally moving away from accounting and finance. In my sales career I was fortunate enough to manage and work with some of the biggest brands and retailers in Australia. The relief and enjoyment lasted for around 2 years when I started wondering about my purpose in life and the legacy that I am going to leave behind. 2014 was the beginning of a mid-life crisis that was to last for another 5 years. During this time, I changed as a person. I became withdrawn, gave up playing cricket, lost touch with a lot of friends and increasingly became impatient and short-tempered. I was unhappy with myself and was projecting it out to the world. Naturally, my family bore the brunt as well.

Yoga, Mindfulness and Mental Health

I was having coffee with one of my friends at Melbourne Central station. After hearing my story, she suggested that I try yoga. I thought I will give it a try hoping to improve my fitness and flexibility. As I became stronger and healthier, I soon discovered that the yoga mat was a great place to find a sense of contentment, self-awareness, and mind body connection. Fast forward a few months later in July 2016. My daughter was in her swim class, and I was seated pool side with my wife talking about my feelings regarding my work and career. It was 8.30 on a Saturday morning and tears were rolling down my eyes at the hopelessness that I felt regarding my future. During that discussion, I decided to become a yoga teacher and start my own meditation practice. In 2018, I completed my yoga teacher training which turned out be a life changing experience. I thought to myself that once my daughter completes high school, I can quit my corporate career and become a full-time yoga teacher. At the end of 2019 when my last job did not work out, I spent a lot of time with a Buddhist monk in Sri Lanka learning about Buddhism and unpacking my fears and insecurities. When I arrived back in Australia in January 2020, I decided to become a full-time yoga teacher. 2020 had a nice ring to it and I thought this is going to be my year. Little did I know that there would be once in a lifetime pandemic, and I will be spending most of the year in lockdown without work. Whilst 2020 was painful in many ways, it was also a blessing. I was able to do home schooling for my kids which improved my relationship with them. 2020 also gave me the time to work out the kind of yoga teacher I wanted to become. Drawing on my lived mental health experiences as a kid, I enrolled in the Certificate IV of Mental Health and launched my own business to teach mindfulness to kids as well as adults. If I were to give advice to my 20-year-old self, I would tell him to choose a career that involves movement and variety instead of sitting at a desk in a cubicle.

Friendships and connections

I was the first person in my family to venture out of India. As such I did not have any friends or family in Australia. Over the last 20 years I have been lucky to meet some amazing people and form great friendships and connections. I can confidently say that I have people in life who will drop everything to help me at a short notice. It would be remiss of me not to recognise some people who have made a big impact in my life. Some of them I have worked with, whilst with others I have simply connected.

Miriam Silva for being not only an amazing mother, life partner and person, but also a great friend.

Peter McCann, he saw something in me and helped me transition from finance to a sales career. He has always been available for a chat and advice.

Denis Cantin, what started as a work relationship is now an amazing friendship. Denis is also like a father figure to me, someone who is always there to listen and provide unconditional support.

Suman Dahal, for being extremely encouraging and helpful. Without Suman’s assistance, I would not have been able to set up my website and initial phase of my business.

Mitchell Mackey, for being a great friend, supporter, and voice of reason. He is always the first one to call me and check in if things are not going my way.

Greg Webbe and Saeed Mirza for all your support, kind words and encouragement

Australia is an amazing place to live. Naturally beautiful, safe, and peaceful. I have personally found the community to be accommodating and friendly. My hope for Australia is that we will continue to evolve as a nation and become more amenable to risk taking and a faster pace of change. Overall, I have had an amazing 20 years in Australia, and I am looking forward to the next 20. In the words of Douglas Adams, I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.

Are you placing limits on yourself? What is your story?

“Whether you think you can, or think you can’t you’re right” – Henry Ford

A few years ago during my midlife crisis I came across a TED talk by Emily Esfahani Smith. According to Smith, happiness comes and goes, but having meaning in our life i.e., serving something beyond ourselves and developing the best within us gives us something to hold onto. She goes on to describe in detail the four pillars of a meaningful life in further detail in her book “The Power of Meaning”. The four pillars are: a sense of belonging, purpose, storytelling, and transcendence. The one that resonated the most with me at the time was storytelling. Smith says that “storytelling is really about the story that you tell yourself about your life, about how you became you. It’s your personal myth.”  

As Sapiens we often form our beliefs first and then search for evidence in support of them afterwards. We usually form beliefs from subjective, personal, and emotional promptings in social and historical environments that influence their content. Our brain is always seeking to find meaning in the information that pours into it. Once the belief is formed, it rationalises the same with explanations usually after the event. With time the brain becomes invested in these beliefs and reinforces them by looking for supporting evidence whilst ignoring anything that is contrary. As such our beliefs eventually become powerful motivating forces in our lives.

A self-limiting belief is a negative thought pattern that we tell ourselves about who and how we are and has the impact of luring us into thinking that we are incapable of moving past it to bigger and better things. We all have limiting beliefs that stop us from taking actions towards our dreams or everyday goals and inhibit our progress. These limiting beliefs can range from feeling not good enough, or smart enough, to not deserving success or happiness. Some of these beliefs are formed due to our childhood experiences, societal conditioning, through consumption of media or by observing others.

Over the years, I have had my fair share of self-limiting beliefs:

I am not a creative person

This one started in high school in my arts and drawing classes. I used to struggle. To make matters worse I started comparing myself to the kids who were best in class. I concluded that I am not a creative person. From then on, I stared to connect creativity with artistic expression i.e., being an artist or a sculptor. I have now come to realise that is not the only definition of creativity. Creativity can also mean creative thinking i.e., when I am putting together a sequence of yoga poses for my class or writing blogs and problem solving.

Career Path – safety over passion

My father is a Chartered Accountant. His mates were accountants, and their children were either already accountants or studying to become accountants. That was my entire world growing up. Furthermore, I was conditioned to think that accumulating as much wealth as quickly as possible was the key to a happy and great life. So, despite an interest in sport and movement, what did I do, I took the safe path, and completed my CPA exams and spent my time working in finance. I did not derive any work satisfaction from my 14-year finance career. I am much happier now teaching yoga and mindfulness.

Owning a business

If I must give advice to my 21-year-old self, it would be to pursue a career in movement and start his own business. But I chose the safe path. Besides my societal conditioning deep down I thought to myself that I would never be good at business and will end up being a failure. In hindsight I should have taken the risk of failure much earlier in life. It would have saved me a lot of emotional anguish. Ultimately, in 2020 I launched Minderly, my own yoga and mindfulness business. I am going to give this a red hot go as the worst thing that can happen is that no one wants my services. At least I will avoid the regret of not having tried it on my death bed.

In my personal experience, the biggest problem with self-limiting beliefs is that most of the time we are not even aware of their existence. We assume these beliefs to be part of our own story and continue living our lives. These beliefs also have the habit of appearing at the most inopportune times in our life i.e., when we are facing uncertainty or an existential crisis. Therefore, it is important to recognise and do something about these beliefs before they start limiting our potential.

Mindfulness can help

Mindfulness is the process of purposefully paying attention to thoughts and emotions without judgment. It is really about experiencing life in the present moment. Practicing mindfulness on a regular basis helps us become familiar with our thoughts and emotions. We can start identifying these beliefs, stories, and scenarios which our brain often creates rather than making them a part of our story. As we continue our observation, we can begin to identify these self-limiting beliefs and let go of them.  Through mindfulness I found that I have imposed beliefs and limitations on myself though my own history and societal conditioning without even questioning them. Through my mindfulness practice, I have also come to realise that it is normal to have these negative voices in my head i.e., they are part of the human condition and that I need to continue to observe, isolate and ignore them so that they don’t become part of my story.

RAIN Methodology

According to Tara Brach, the acronym RAIN is an easy-to-remember tool for practicing mindfulness and compassion using the following four steps:

  1. Recognise what is happening. Consciously acknowledge, the thoughts, feelings and behaviours that affect us and lead to the formation of self-limiting beliefs
  2. Allow the experience to be there, just as it is. Letting the recognised thoughts, feelings and emotions to simply be there. Avoid judgment, or distraction by focusing attention elsewhere
  3. Investigate with interest and care. This step requires natural curiosity. Asking ourselves questions such as Is this belief true? How long have I been believing this? Do I need to continue believing this?
  4. Nurture with self-compassion. This is the homecoming where we start to loosen the grips of our limiting beliefs. It is important to be kind to ourselves and practice self-care

According to Smith, our storytelling impulse emerges from a deep-seated need all humans share: the need to make sense of the world. The story we tell ourselves (and others) about our own life can increase or decrease how meaningful our life seems. If you want to have more meaning, try to tell a positive story about your life.

Silencing the Inner Critic – Be Nicer to Yourself

“It’s not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life; it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the most power” – Robert Kiyosaki

We all have an inner critic. Most of us in fact, myself included have a number of them. Inner critics are those reactive and internal voices that shine a floodlight on aspects of ourselves we are not entirely pleased with, areas where we lack confidence & qualities, we flat out wish were not so. Our inner critic shows up during a variety of perfectly inopportune moments. The more at stake, the greater likelihood our inner critic will make an appearance. While we find it easier to shut out external criticism it is tougher for us to switch off our internal voice.

When we are awake, we think all the time and the brain is providing us with instructions on what to do, we are constantly evaluating and interpreting stuff. Self-talk can be as mundane as what we are going to have for dinner or wonder what is on TV tonight. Some of the self-talk we indulge in is quite reasonable. For example, if you need to go shopping after work for a gift for someone and you think about what you want to buy, that is fine. On the other hand, a small amount of negative is normal. For example, you forget your wedding anniversary and forget to wish your wife, and you think to yourself that you had remembered the anniversary. Excessive self-criticism, however, tends to backfire, because it leads us to focus on our perceived failures instead of the small ways that we could have improved. Left unchecked, such thoughts can do deep harm to our mental health and our life.

Negative self-talk comes in many forms:

  • If something doesn’t go exactly as planned, we see it as a total failure falling victim to all-or-nothing thinking
  • We use words such as “always” or “never” whilst generalising discouraging events as a part of a permanent trend
  • We focus on the negative events while discounting the positive events
  • We don’t take enough credit for positive events by explaining achievements away by external factors
  • We jump to conclusions by assuming that someone is having negative thoughts or intentions towards us without clarifying or inquiring
  • We predict a negative outcome to an event that could turn out in many ways

Self-criticism or negative self-talk triggers the brain’s threat system. This is the oldest part of our brain that tells us to fight or take flight. When this system gets triggered, cortisol (a stress hormone) is released, and this activates the sympathetic nervous system (fight/flight response). This tells the body to get ready for danger. From an evolutionary point of view this is important because if a wild animal is chasing us, then we better do something to ensure our survival. As such this threat system provides protection by preparing us as best as it can with the means to fight or flee. However, in modern times we rarely encounter situations where our environment is triggering our threat systems. Our minds are in fact triggering our own threat systems with negative predictions, painful memories, or hard harsh judgments and self-criticism.

There are three broad ways to overcome our negative self-talk

Mindfulness

Our cycle of negative inner dialogue is always focused on the past or the future. We are preoccupied with thoughts about things that were not done well in the past or worried about the outcome of things in the future. We start living life in moments before or what is about to come after but not the actual moment we are in. Once we start making a conscious effort to become aware of the moment we are in, though breath or by just being present, a transformation starts to happen. Earlier this year I spent a lot of time with a Buddhist monk in Sri Lanka who has been practicing mindfulness since 1960s. A lot of our discussion centred around my anxiety and fear of failure over leaving the corporate world to start my own business. He taught me the following four steps to overcome my negative self-talk

  1. Recognise the negative thoughts or negative thought patterns as they arise instead of continuing rumination
  2. Tell myself that this is just a negative thought and that this is actually not happening
  3. He then instructed me to ask myself, “What evidence do I have to support this thought?” I quickly found out that I am not in possession of any evidence
  4. Replace the negative thought with a positive one. They do not have to be related. For example, if the negative thoughts relate to work, countering positive thoughts can be of our family or a hobby we are good at

Self-Compassion

Self-compassion means accepting everything about ourselves wholly and treating the self with warmth and understanding. Self-compassion helps us take responsibility for our actions while acknowledging that a lot of things in our life are outside our control i.e., our gender, our race, the families or countries we were born into and the actions of others. We need to appreciate the role of self-care in a good, ambitious, and fruitful life. According to the School of Life, we need to practice the following to inculcate self-compassion:

  1. We’re so in love with success that we fail to notice the scale of challenges we routinely set ourselves. We may have failed, but given the mountain we were trying to climb but the conclusion doesn’t have to be that we are simply fools
  2. We all have tricky family histories. Things happened to us at the hands of others which can help to explain some our troubles
  3. One look at the media and we tend to think that everyone is successful. But in reality, undramatic, quiet failure is the statistical norm by a huge margin
  4. Acknowledging the importance of luck as a genuine feature of existence. We are robbing ourselves of a fair conciliation by believing we are entirely in control and therefore entirely to blame when we crash
  5. We are not only our achievements. Status and material success are only one bit of us as an individual
  6. Sometimes it feels that the crisis will never end. It helps to reduce our expectations to zero for a time and take each moment as it comes

ABC Method

The ABC method developed by Dr. Albert Ellis and Dr. Martin Seligman allows a more flexible response to negativity:

A-Adversity

Describe the event that happened. Leave out any evaluations or judgments. Simply put a description to the event that happened in a way that is as unemotional as possible.

B- Belief

Explain how adversity was interpreted. Not how you think it ought to be, but what your default belief/interpretation was.

C- Consequence

Think about the feelings and actions that result from these beliefs. Go back with a level of introspection and ask yourself how you handled things. Dig deep. How and when do those emotions/feeling lead to certain behaviours and actions.

D- Disputation

Do you have any grounds to dispute these automatic reactions? What are the possible repercussions of following through on those emotions? Think about whether there are greater benefits to moving on from the situation and stopping that baseline (often impulsive) response in its tracks.

E- Energization

This is the last step that’s done when successful disputation occurs. Did you manage to turn things around? Put all your focus on the positive feelings that ensued as a result of reframing your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. Ask yourself, what’s different between how I just handled this situation versus how I would normally handle it? Relish in those personal rewards.

Ultimately our inner dialogue will either fuel success or prevent us from reaching our full potential. Silencing the inner critic does not work. We need to start taming our inner critic and silencing the negativity so we can coach ourselves in a productive and helpful manner. At the end of the day it is just a voice that has learned how to respond to life in a particular way, based on what it knows. It’s all a part of us. We can start by accepting that the inner critic is here to stay and that it can be managed, and that the relationship is one that can shift with time.

The Myth of Flexibility in Yoga

“The success of yoga must not be measured by how flexible your body becomes, but rather by how much it opens your heart” – T.K.V. Desikachar

“I would love to do yoga but I am inflexible”

“I am a bloke you know and I do not have the right body type to try yoga”

“I can’t touch my toes”

“Mate, I am really stiff, you got no idea”

“No worries, I will register for your workshop and start working on my flexibility straightaway”

I don’t even have to prompt or ask. As soon as people find out that I am yoga teacher, they straightaway start giving me reasons for not practicing yoga. One of the most common reasons given or excuse made is the lack of flexiblity. A lot more by men and a few  by women. I can understand why, one look at popular media and you will see images of thin, statuesque, people with their leg wrapped around their head. In fact the yoga industry has long been using such images and unsurprisingly yoga has come to be associated with a certain image and it is usually of female perfection. Flexibility seems to be a pre-requisite to practice yoga. Furthermore, there are very few yoga teachers in the public eye that are unable to do a full split or twist themselves like a pretzel.

Thousands of years ago when yoga was first taught in India, the students were all men. For thousands of years, yoga meant stilling the thoughts of the mind in order to connect with the self. As such yoga is a pretty equal-opportunity pursuit. As recently as the 1930s, Mr. Krishnamacharya, one of the founders of “modern yoga”, taught at a school for boys and developed a physically demanding sequence of yoga poses that included elements of gymnastics and wrestling. At that point women were not included in the classes. However, since moving to the west, yoga has mainly become a female-centric activity. Yoga was never an inherently female practice. The roots of yoga and the growth of yoga as a practice is by males for males. 5 years ago when I decided to start a regular practice by joining a yoga studio, I discovered that I was the only male student in the class; that became two and recently I have being to classes where almost half the class comprises of male students. Does that mean that the myth of flexiblity is being challenged? The answer is yes but not enough.

I practiced yoga for three years before becoming a teacher and let me share the good news, you don’t have to be flexible to practice yoga. You don’t have to be able to touch your toes or stand on one leg. When we start working out in the gym it takes some time to build muscles and strength. Similarly, yoga is a practice that needs time and dedication to see results. The practice of yoga is not about attaining the full expression of a certain pose or being flexible enough to do a full split – all of these things come as a result of immersing yourself in the practice. Significantly, the practice of yoga has more to do with self-awareness, becoming more in tune and grounded in our own body, and learning as well as honouring this ancient art and tradition. All you have to do is just go as far as you can go in each pose.

Ultimately, flexibility referes to our ability to move muscles and joints through their complete range. We are born with this ability (I have never seen an inflexible baby) but lose it over time as our lives become sedentrary and restricted. Even if we’re active, our bodies will dehydrate and stiffen with age. By the time we get to adulthood, our tissues have lost about  15 percent of their mositure content, becoming less supple and prone to injury. The normal aging of our tissues is similar to the process that turns animal hides into leather. Stretching slows this process of dehydration by stimulating the production of tissue lubricants. Yoga helps with the stretching of the ligaments, tendons and fascia. You don’t have to be flexible to reap these benefits.

Along with stretching connective tissue, much of the work in yoga aims to enlist neurological mechanisms that allow our muscles to release and extend. Yoga poses will stretch your muscles and increase your range of motion. Yoga, however, is more than a form of exercise or workout. Yoga is a way to become aware of your body and mind and for this we need patience. Initially I practiced yoga for the physical benefits. After about 18 months of practising, I started to experience the mental benefits of yoga. Here are a few things you can do if you are new to yoga or wish to try yoga:

  • Do some basic stretching before the yoga practice. I have very tight hips so I always got to the class 10 minutes and early and spent that time stretching my hips and activating my glutes
  • Connect breath with movement i.e., breathe slowly and consciously
  • Stop when you feel any pain in any pose. With time the body will get used to stretching and pain will disappear
  • Practice regularly, I practice everday but I understand this is not possible for everyone, so practice as regularly or as often as possible
  • Do the poses slowly and regularly. Yoga is meant to nourish the body and mind and not act as a punishment. You can always pick up the pace once who feel more comfortable and confident
  • Be kind to yourself, do not be too harsh on yourself if you are next to someone who can do the poses easily as you are not aware of their yoga journey and life story

Yoga helps you to practice mindulness, learn how to listen to your body and reduce stress. Each pose will allow your body to sink, deeply stretching muscle fibres and loosening you up. It will take time, but not as long as you assume. The body and mind simply have to make the connection. Increased flexiblity can be one of the fitness goals, provided it is paired with strength and stability.

Yoga is for everyone. Tall or short, thick or thin, young or old, yoga is meant to adapt to you, not the other way around. Even though I am not as flexible as some of my colleagues, there are things I can do now which I couldn’t five years ago. Flexibility is the by-product of a regular yoga practice not the other way round. I urge you to ignore the crazy flexible poses on your social media feed and learn how yoga can benefit your physical and emotional health. Yoga is not for the flexible, it is for the willing.